Pie in the Sky
by CrazyFic
Summary: This humble author realizes his mistakes from past fics and presents the following fic as a way of making up for it. Akane finally wins out!


After reading through my earlier fics and looking through some of the   
more recent works, this humble author noticed that he made a grievous   
error. I forgot the number one rule in writing Ranma fics: 'Akane must   
always come out on top!' And so with my apologies, I present to you   
the following fic:  
  
PIE IN THE SKY  
by CrazyFic  
crazyfic@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: We interrupt the following disclaimer to bring you an   
important message from Rumiko Takahashi. *A stage appears as Mrs.   
Takahashi gets on it*  
Rumiko: I am here to inform you that, as the creator of Ranma 1/2, none   
of the following was at all approved by me. I have nothing to do with   
this loony that calls himself the 'Champion of Ranma Fic Writers'.   
That is all.  
*Mrs. Takahashi leaves the stage*  
  
C&C and MST definitely welcome  
  
*****  
  
The residents of the Tendo household all surround a rather thin Genma   
Saotome and some weird-looking priest.  
  
"Genma Saotome, a week ago I cursed you for having eaten the   
sacrificial pig that would have brought Japan to a new Golden Age."  
  
"Nice going Pops."  
  
Genma tried his best to hide from the stares that the others gave him.   
Easier said since he was thin as a stick.  
  
"Since then you have been getting thinner until you will become   
nonexistent. But now I offer a way of regaining your lost strength.   
Choose someone else in this household to receive a curse and you shall   
be able to regain your strength. All you have to do is say out their   
name."  
  
The others around Genma were now sweating, hoping that Genma chooses   
someone other than them or that he sacrifices himself. Better luck in   
him choosing someone else.  
  
"Typical that a Saotome should screw up like this." Akane decided to   
say.  
  
"What do you mean by that?!" Ranma shouted back.  
  
"Both you and your father always chooses your stomach over anything   
else. Because of him," Akane points at Genma, "Japan is screwed and   
one of us is going to get cursed! If you had the chance, you would   
have done the same thing he did!"  
  
"What do you mean by that you uncute tomboy!" While he knew she was   
probably right, he didn't want to admit it.  
  
It was at this point that Genma decided to enter the argument. "Now   
son, is that anyway to treat Akane? After all she is your fian...   
oops." He realized his mistake a bit too late.  
  
"So be it. I shall turn you," the priest points at Akane and with a   
wave of his hand smoke appears over her, "into... CHICKEN POT PIE!" As   
the smoke clears, there was what seems to be pie in a bluish tin foil.   
"Eat up, Genma, and you shall regain your strength. HA HAW HA HAW HA   
HAW HA HAW HA HAW...." And the priest left the place, laughing all the   
way.  
  
The others were too stunned to do anything. Finally Genma spoke up.  
  
"Well, I do believe that we have a problem. But first, I must regain   
my strength. I really can't let good food go to waste. Especially   
since it's... chicken... pot... pie!" Genma's mouth watered as he   
approached the pie in the bluish tin foil.  
  
Soon after many heard what seemed to be a loud cracking noise.  
  
*****  
  
Two days later it was the funeral of Genma Saotome. It was a joyous   
occasion indeed. Two more days after that was an even more joyous   
occasion.  
  
*****  
  
Everyone was inside the Tendo Dojo for what was the marriage between   
Ranma Saotome and the pie that was once known as Akane Tendo.  
  
"Aiyah! Airen seems to have lost half his brain! Shampoo no can marry   
him now."  
  
"I warned Ranchan that Genma would one day ruin him."  
  
Soun, on the other hand, was crying tears of joy. "Isn't it wonderful!   
My baby daughters finally going to marry Ranma! The schools are   
finally united!"  
  
His two daughters tried to move as far from him as possible, trying to   
deny any sort of relationship with him. Nodoka walked up to him.  
  
"What the hell are you smoking Soun?! Thanks to my idiot husband, my   
son has become deranged!"  
  
"Bu..But with Ranma, the dojo will come back to life! He will become a   
great teacher."  
  
"Do you actually think he can do anything at the state he is now?!"  
  
"What are you complaining about, Nodoka? Soon you will have   
grandchildren!"  
  
"I can hardly wait." Nodoka replied sarcastically, "A whole bunch of   
bouncing pumpkin pies! Or maybe lemon meringues! Or better yet, boxes   
of KFC chicken!"  
  
Unknowing of what was going on behind him, Ranma was next to his soon-  
to-be wife and feeling on top of the world.  
  
"So do you, Ranma Saotome, lawfully take this.... ummm... pie?"  
  
"Please, her name is Akane Tendo. And I do."  
  
".... I pronounce you man and... wife. You may kiss the... bride." As   
soon as he was finished, the priest ran out of the dojo.  
  
*****  
  
That night in Akane's room, a naked Ranma was in bed with the pie   
formerly known as Akane Tendo.  
  
"Well Akane, we beat the odds. I'm finally with the girl I wanted and   
no one, not even Pops, can take you away from me."  
  
With that he began play with his wife. He first tasted her. "Mmmmm...   
Sweet, but not too sweet." With that he began licking the pie all   
over.  
  
When he was done with his playing, he got ready for the deep   
penetration.  
  
Oookkaayy.... I think I'll stop right here.  
  
THE END  
  
*****  
Notes:  
  
I now bow down before you asking for forgiveness. I know that I have   
done some pretty messed up things. Can you ever forgive me?  
*The camera angle changes to show CrazyFic bowing down before a picture   
of Ranma*  
Can you ever forgive me for making you have sex with food? Hmmm...   
sex with food... would that be called 'foodality'?  
  
~Dedicated to Boston Market's 'Chicken Pot Pie'. MMMMM SO GOOD!~  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
o/~ I just feel like chicken tonight!  
o/~ Like chicken tonight!  
o/~ Like chicken tonight!  



End file.
